A Visit to Your Local Could Change Your Life

ON TOUR WITH THE KID | CHLOE O'SULLIVAN

I have just read Professor Scott Galloway's new book, Notes on Being a Man. As a father of two sons, he’s become increasingly alarmed that the manosphere has hijacked the idea of masculinity. For Galloway, coarseness, cruelty, and violence are the opposite of what being a man should mean. His book is part autobiography and part operations manual for men navigating today’s world.

The main point is that isolation—not weakness—is the real threat to masculinity. Many of the world’s largest companies attempt to convince us that we can lead a fulfilling life online, with less hassle and a lower risk of rejection. They profit by keeping people away from real-life relationships.

When you learn that 45% of men aged 18 to 25 have never asked a woman out in person, while 63% of men under 30 aren’t pursuing a romantic relationship. That one in four men can’t name a best friend, and one in seven can’t name any close friends, it’s obvious there’s a problem. The guardrails that come from friends and romantic relationships are priceless.

These connections encourage us to be more personable, take care of ourselves, and learn how to compromise and communicate. None of these skills is sharpened by screen time.

People often discuss it as a men-versus women issue, but empathy isn’t a zero-sum game. One group doesn’t have to lose for the other to win. Women want equality and safety, but we all want men to be their best selves—if only because it benefits everyone. Men are our friends, partners, sons, and they share the world with our daughters.

All of this was on my mind when my friend Laura and I arrived at the Wallabadah Hotel to run the final round of Mulletfest for the year. The event has been going strong for 8 years, and people keep coming back because of Laura and pubs like this one. The Wallabadah Hotel is an easy 3-hour drive north-west of Newcastle on the way to Tamworth. It’s the heart of a town with fewer than 800 people. It’s a beautiful, family-friendly place with mouthwatering food. In the increasingly isolationist world that Galloway describes, it’s a real gift to walk into a place where the bar staff know your name and are happy to chat. I also love that there are no poker machines—no extra screens to distract you from real conversation. They also have the nicest pub accommodation I’ve seen in a long time.

Watching my friend stand in the middle of the bar that night with a microphone, I realised why she’s one of the most interesting people I know. She’s truly curious about others. Even though we both have hectic lives and stressful day jobs, she spends her free time raising money for charity and giving our mostly male contestants a chance to shine and share their stories.

I will leave you some salient advice straight from Professor Galloway. “The anxiety and depression you will eventually feel locked in your room, sequestered from other mammals, is far greater than the fear of anything that lies outside of that room for you. Get out of your room, get off your phone.”

Next time you are out that way, make a point of calling into the Wallabadah Hotel. Order a beer and start a conversation with a stranger. It could change your life.

Scott Galloway’s book Notes on Being a Man really is a must-read. Available now in hard copy or audiobook.